Why don't all military dictators drive (or get driven in, rather) black Escalades?

"not for canada - australian in disguise" (for-canada) 03/21/2016 at 13:18 • Filed to: None

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Seriously, I can’t think of a more imposing modern day mainstream car. If a black full-size GM SUV pulls up at your house, you better pack your things or things will go a little wrong. And the interior can look like this, if you’ve got the dough.

Becker ESV

And column shifter, which strangely people complain about. It’s better than the rotary dial you get on a Range Rover, which is the only thing I don’t like about the current RR.

Dat real wood

If I was a brutal military dictator and I wanted people to be afraid of me, the Caddy dealer would be the first place I’d go, instead of getting some puny old S-Class.

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > not for canada - australian in disguise 03/21/2016 at 13:23

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S-Class is just a bit more...serious.

not for canada - australian in disguise > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 03/21/2016 at 13:23

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I’ll give it that. It’s very, German, if you will.

crowmolly > not for canada - australian in disguise 03/21/2016 at 13:23

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What’s so bad about the column shifter? You get more console space, and chances are you only move it a few times during each trip.

Unless you think it should just be push-button, in which case I agree.

Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras > not for canada - australian in disguise 03/21/2016 at 13:23

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Cause G Wagon

not for canada - australian in disguise > crowmolly 03/21/2016 at 13:25

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I don’t know, I’m not complaining about the column shifter at all. I was complaining about the rotary dial you get on the Range Rover.

not for canada - australian in disguise > Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras 03/21/2016 at 13:25

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Valid argument.

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > not for canada - australian in disguise 03/21/2016 at 13:27

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Yup. Dictators want to appear cold and calculating.

Flynorcal: pilot, offshore sailor, car racer and panty thief > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 03/21/2016 at 13:30

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My 1976 300D didn’t have the dictator package, so the power windows weren’t hydraulic. Apparently the hydro windows were fast and strong enough to chop your head off. You can rise to power and get beheaded all in one go, while still getting amazing gas mileage.

Germans think of everything.

RyanFrew > not for canada - australian in disguise 03/21/2016 at 13:37

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If we’re talking about drug kingpins, you have a point. World leaders, on the other hand, definitely have access to vehicles that are simultaneously more stately and imposing than a car that usually gets soccer-mom duty. Exhibit A:

Interestingly, Hooniverse compiled the data on this, and they claim that 6 countries use the Yukon/Tahoe/Escalade for their state vehicle , out of 197 countries. The S-Class is used by almost a third of all nations.

AM3R shamefully returns > not for canada - australian in disguise 03/21/2016 at 13:37

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But the thing is, you could get called out for driving 1) an American car and 2) driving “a fancy suburban”

An S-class is for the connoisseur, but even better would be a maybach.

Random thought, if I was a mob boss I’d drive around in a VIP’d Lexus LS.

Svend > not for canada - australian in disguise 03/21/2016 at 13:38

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Personally Range Rover Special Vehicles 6x6 for me then Supacat Wildcats for the minions (I think the Toyota Hilux has been done to death, it’s sort of what the good guys expect your minions to drive, so cliche). After all who wouldn’t be scared by a former Bowler Wildcat with a large machine gun on it’s roof?

Azrek > not for canada - australian in disguise 03/21/2016 at 13:55

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In the 80s Dictators drove in Tan/Brown colored Mercedes and were all killed by Chuck Norris. Every time I see an older tan Merc, I think of this.

So it could be the fear of Chuck Norris that they moved to Caddy. The 80s cull of tan Mercs throughout the world!

Dean Beyer > not for canada - australian in disguise 03/21/2016 at 14:53

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I don’t mind a column shifter but I don’t know why it has to be so big. The S-Class has a column shifter but it’s tiny in comparison.

The World of Vee > crowmolly 03/21/2016 at 19:05

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Lincoln agrees!

boxrocket > not for canada - australian in disguise 03/21/2016 at 23:51

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Because a gussied-up Tahoe does not exude class. Range Rover, G-Class, etc. do. Hell, an XC90 is instantly more classy and luxurious than an escalade, which is funny as the escalade stole the 850's taillight design.

Jedidiah > not for canada - australian in disguise 03/22/2016 at 13:10

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The column shifter would be fine if it had a front bench